Fear

Fear can be a debilitating emotion. It can keep you stuck. It can keep paralyzed. It can cause a long list of responses, like anger, frustration, and panic to name a few. It can appear in your life in so many ways, too many to name, and it’s individualized. It changes from person to person.

I recently dealt with this in my life. I was afraid to try a new writing project because I didn’t know how people would response. This fear paralyzed me. I didn’t want to deal with the potential fallout. I didn’t want to hear negatives. I didn’t know what else could appear in my life by doing this particular project. Who would be angry? Who would treat me bad? Who would be hurt? It has held me back for a long time.

How do I move past this paralyzing situation?

I think I’ve figured it out. First, I’m borrowing trouble by worrying about things that actually haven’t happened yet. They may never happen, or my fears could be correct, and it turns into a mess. Either way, it doesn’t matter. I need to focus on the present. I have a dream in my heart, and that usually means there’s a reason. If I concentrate on the task of writing this manuscript and nothing else, then I’m dealing with the only thing that is currently important. Nothing else should interfere. If and when I finish my manuscript and decide to sell it or self-publish, then I worry about that task. What I’ve learned by this process is that other people’s opinions are not my concern. No, I don’t want to hurt anyone, but if I can help other’s maneuver and heal damages that have been done to them, then it’s all worth it. It’s worth it to me to follow my dreams and to help others. Who should stop someone from doing that? No one. No one should stop me if they have my best interest at heart and if they care and love me. If they don’t, then their opinion isn’t my concern.

This approach will work with almost every conceivable issue. Don’t borrow trouble. Work on the task that is before you. Don’t worry about the problems that could happen. They haven’t happened yet. When and if they do, think about this: are they mad or angry because they are living in their own fear? Most likely. Do they have your best interest at heart? Most likely no. Will you do good by following through with your plans? If the answer is yes, I would suggest to go ahead and do it. Most likely, the people that hold you back are at fault for the trauma/abuse that you live with everyday. You may not wish them harm but if your story or your tasks helps others, then it’s worth it. You’ll bring in the right people into your life and keep the ones that cause you harm out.