Before we can make changes, we typically have to be in the position of severe discomfort. We no longer feel that our bad habit is worth the price we pay. We are no longer happy with where we’re at and want it to change.
The biggest problem is deciding what changes you want to make. Sometimes, we don’t know where to start to make positive changes. We don’t know how to begin.
I would take a chunk of your problem and start there. If you take on too much, it might lead you to feel overwhelmed. Sometimes, our problems are too big to take on all at once.
Maybe if you want less stress, you can learn how to meditate or do breathing exercises. Maybe if you snap at your children or loved ones, you can learn to become aware. Maybe if you drink, you can get into a program to help you stop. Sometimes working on your problems means you have to let other people help you. It may feel uncomfortable, but they’ve been there, or they have the skills to help you get out of that trap.
If you have too many problems and don’t know where to start, I suggest something small or moderate. Work your way to the “big stuff.” If the “big stuff” is dangerous, like drugs, it needs to be addressed before worrying about anything else. You can’t properly fix anything unless you are sober.
If you are brave and strong enough (trust me, you really do need to be strong), you can ask your loved ones what traits or habits that you do that are the hardest to be around. When they tell you, because you asked, you can’t yell or become defensive. You need to listen and take it in.
If some of you like to pray, then I’d suggest that. If you don’t like to pray, I suggest you simply give it voice somehow, like journaling or saying it out loud. “I want a different life. Where do I start?” Then, go from there, one step at a time, seeking out knowledge everywhere. You might even start to see answers showing up from different sources and presenting themselves with ease into your life.
These are just a few suggestions that I hope will get you started.